Early Friday Morning, 518/520

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe woke up much, much too early for a Friday morning. Of course, having dreams and nightmares hadn't helped the sleeping situation. There were just too many thoughts and worries in her head after the events of the last few weeks.

Once again, she was sleeping in the middle of Anders and Cole. She smiled when she saw how possessively Cole was draping his arm over the two of them in his sleep. She liked seeing him so relaxed about all of this and she was glad that he realized that she was okay with this and his feelings for Anders.

But...

She had her own worries and issues to deal with right now that had nothing to do with the feelings the boys had for each other. And there was no way she could stay in bed right now. She couldn't sleep and she didn't want to wake either one of them.

The good thing about being petite and being a cheerleader? She was very flexible and could contort herself in ways that allowed her to wiggle out from the bed without waking the boys.

She got dressed into some comfy and warm pajamas and left the bedroom. She made some tea and went to sit in her favourite brooding spot in their rooms.

Her comfy chair by the window.

She sat down to try to deal with her thoughts and worries and Valkyrie and Seraphim decided to keep her company by curling in her lap and talking to her.



[[OOC: For demonbelthazor]]

Comments

[demonbelthazor]

Not long after, Bel woke up and found the empty space in the bed. He knew Phoebe didn't have class this morning, so he wondered where she'd gone. After a few minutes when she didn't return to bed, he got up and wandered out to the living room. "Phoebe?" he said.

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe turned from where she had been staring out the window and smiled slightly. "You're supposed to still be sleeping love," she said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

[demonbelthazor]

"I have class in a few hours," Cole yawned. "I should be getting up anyway." He moved beside her chair. "Something on your mind?"

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe smiled slightly at him. "Lots on my mind, love. Just don't want to burden anyone with most of it."

[demonbelthazor]

He crouched down beside her and took her hand. "You can always talk to me, sweetheart," he said.

[sensethevisions]

She bit her lip. "I know. I just don't know how to ask some of the things in my mind." She leaned against him.

[demonbelthazor]

Cole frowned. "Is something wrong? Are you having second thoughts about anything? Because if you are . . . that's okay," he said.

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe blinked for a moment and then shook her head. "Oh no, love, it's not that," she reassured him. "It's not that at all. I am fine with the way things are, really! I'm just... a little confused, I guess?"

[demonbelthazor]

"Confused?" Cole repeated. "Why?"

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe looked down, worrying her bottom lip. "Because I don't know exactly where I fit and how affectionate I'm allowed to be with Anders?"

Not that she thought he would accept affection from her, but still.

[demonbelthazor]

Cole somehow managed not to flail. "How much do you want to be?" he said carefully.

[sensethevisions]

This is where she didn't know how to talk about this. She looked up at him hesitantly. "Am I... is it okay..." She sighed. "Kissing... like you guys do?"

[demonbelthazor]

The possessive demon in him wanted to growl "No! Mine!" but he swallowed it. "Of course you are," he said. "We're all in this together, right?"

[sensethevisions]

"Yes, we are. But... I don't want to do anything that would upset you."

[demonbelthazor]

"I don't know, Phoebe," Cole said. "Part of me may feel possessive and jealous. But I want to be fair to you, too. I think I can handle it."

[sensethevisions]

She reached for him. "You know you always come first with me."

[demonbelthazor]

"I know," Cole said, leaning into her. "Just . . . be patient with me?"

[sensethevisions]

She held him close. "Of course, love. Always." She hugged him tightly and then sighed sadly. "Not that there is anything to be patient with you about. It's not like he wants me to touch him or have anything to do with me." She looked out the window. "I can't really blame him for that."

[demonbelthazor]

Cole blinked. "He . . . he loves you, Phoebe," he said quietly.

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe shrugged a little. "Maybe he does," she said quietly. "But he's still so hesitant to be near me or come into contact with me. It hurts, Cole, but... I don't blame him. After what I did to him? I'm surprised he can handle being in the same room with me, let alone the same bed." She looked back out the window. "At least he no longer flinches if I touch his arm or anything."

[demonbelthazor]

"Maybe you should . . . maybe you should talk to him about it," Cole advised. Twitch, twitch. Pay no attention, just a muscle spasm.

[sensethevisions]

"He feels safe around me when you're there, Cole," she explained. "And what the hell do I say? 'I'm sorry that I got myself possessed and messed you up, but I would really appreciate it if you got over it so I can at least hug you since you're important to us and you and Cole are so easy with each other now'?" She swallowed. "When he comes near me, he acts so hesitant, like he's afraid I'm going to turn on him and... hurt him like I did before."

[demonbelthazor]

"You didn't do that to him, Brianna did," Cole said firmly. "You know that, and he knows that. You need to talk to him to get this settled between you. If you want, I can be nearby." Though he really wasn't sure if he wanted to be or not.

[sensethevisions]

And this would be when tears started filling her eyes.

"But Cole... it was my face, my body, whether I was in control or not." She sighed, looking down. "It makes me wonder if I am going to keep having things turning me evil and hurting those I care about."

[demonbelthazor]

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Cole said, reaching up to wipe away her tears.