Racing to find a place for my soul ... Or at least a place that's less familiar

Okay, so she had managed to drag herself through this week without doing anything rash or losing her mind. (Although Thursday night at Caritas it had been a very near thing -- and she still had to put the fear of Halliwell into Connor...)

Now, she was sitting wrapped up in a blanket in her chair by the window and silently rooting for her cheerleader teammates to kick much ass at the competition. She hoped that Buffy would forgive her for not being in any shape to be there with them this time.

She was also pretty much expecting one or all of her sisters to call and check on her. She also should call Piper and tell her about Dane's attack before one of the boys did.



[[OOC: Open. There are a few people Phoebe needs to talk to or phone calls that need to be made so this is the post for them.]]

You would think that waking up with a hangover before would have made Phoebe less likely to even think about drinking as much as she had last night.

You would be wrong.

Last night, after finishing up at Caritas, she had come home to the dorm. She had laid on the couch for awhile, trying to sleep, but sleep wasn't so willing to come. Valkyrie and Seraphim and curled up with her, but even they had become annoyed at her restlessness and had given her quite a few chastisements.

Still not able to face the bedroom, Phoebe had gone into the kitchen and pulled out one of the bottle of alcohol that had been stored there. She hadn't drank alone in a very long time -- not since the promise she had made to Cole after what had happened the last time. However, that was about to change.

Four shots later and she had fallen asleep -- only to be woken up by her dreams and her tears. Three more shots and she had slipped into a bit of a light sleep again.

But then, the sun had come up, killing all thoughts of staying asleep.

Almost embracing the pain in her head because it was a pain she could deal with, Phoebe made herself walk back into the kitcken to make some coffee.



[[OOC: Doors are closed, but the post is open for visitors -- and for one on particular]]

Phoebe was locked in her room at Halliwell Manor. Paige and Piper hadn't thought it was a good idea for her to go back to Fandom on today of all days, so Paige had brought her home to the Manor last night.

She wasn't sure what her other sisters had told Prue, but her oldest sister had been very good about intercepting Grams before she could come talk to her. She knew Grams loved her and would want to make her feel better, but she didn't know what she could tell Grams. How could she tell her why she was so broken? How could she tell Grams what happened with Cole?

Last year at this time, she and Cole had started getting back together and past everything that had happened before. They were in love more deeper than ever before. They should have been happy. They should have been making plans for after graduation.

She had no idea that a year later she would be mourning him after having had to kill the bastard that was possessing his body. She had no idea that a year later she would have been drinking something that the Source of All Evil had created to bring out her true nature of being evil...

He had pretty much told her that her true nature was evil... but he hadn't counted on her and Cole's friends. The friends that believed in them both. The friends that had gotten her to see that the Source was possessing her boyfriend and that he was NOT Cole. The friends that reminded her that Cole loved her because she wasn't evil in any way.

That didn't make the pain of losing Cole any less. That didn't make the fact that the body they had vanquished had once belonged to the man she loved.

"Cole..." she whispered again before burying her face in the pillow in an attempt to keep her family that she knew was close by from hearing her sobs.