Early Evening at the Arms

[sensethevisions]

After her Forensics class, Phoebe had stopped in to say farewell to James and give him the gift she had for him. He had also given her one in return. She looked down at her hand and sighed when she saw she had put the ring from James on the same hand as the promise ring from Cole. She really did need to take that off of her hand. With the issues between her and Cole...and the fact that she was living with Crowley, it just wasn't right that she was still wearing Cole's ring. She sighed and took off both Cole's ring and the necklace from Crowley. Now that both James and Aziraphale had explained what the necklace was, she was determined to keep it safe. Crowley gave it to her for a reason, and she wasn't going to let anything happen to it.

She placed the ring in the small jewelery box that she had retrieved from her dorm room Wednesday morning, and she put the necklace on the table by the bed. She wanted it within reach where she could see it in case something happened while she was alone.

She sighed, wiping tears from her eyes. Her family was getting more wide-spread, but she was positive that she'd always be just a thought away from her two adopted brothers. They knew she'd be there for them, and she knew they'd be there for her. She had meant everything she had told them. They were her big brothers and she'd do anything for them.

She also had Maia to look out for...and for right now, Lana, too. It was getting a lot lonelier here for her, and Maia and Lana were two of the few people that hadn't turned on her or walked away since all of this began.

She sighed and changed clothes, then put in an order with room service. Lana would be here soon.

They would NOT be watching Forensics Files.


[[OOC: This takes place shortly after classes and is locked only to lovelylana for extreme slow play. There will be another post or so going up later for events later Friday evening. Phoebe will be doing stuff this evening and night after this.]]

Comments

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana had been cleared through at the desk and headed straight up to Phoebe's room carrying a small overnight bag. She knocked on the door and waited for Phoebe to answer.

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe quickly opened the door and hugged her friend. "Come n in, Lana."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana hugged her back. "Thank you so much for inviting me. I was really kind of dreading being on my own tonight. Just... everyone's leaving and without even Shep around... Anyway, thanks!"

[sensethevisions]

"Anytime, Lana. Besides, everyone leaving and Crowley away...I wasn't looking forward to being alone this evening."

She ushered Lana in. "So where is Shep, anyway?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Well, we make a good pair then," Lana said with a smile. "Both alone and not wanting to be."

"Shep... he's at a wedding. Technically at least. There's a bunch of stuff about his past he's not supposed to discuss, so I'm not sure if this is related to that or not. He's been so busy the past few days and it just all came up really quickly."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe laughed. "Are you sure we're not related? The two of us with our guys who can't talk about their pasts?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Maybe we are." Lana made a face. "I already know more than I'm *supposed* to, which got him into some trouble at the end of last semester."

She sighed. "He's really good about telling me everything he can, though, so that makes it easier. I have a friend back home who used to just lie to me about stuff he couldn't tell me and it made me crazy."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe shook her head. "Lying about things like that only makes the lies and cover-ups harder to maintain. Cole and I...well, anyway, I know what Crowley is and what he's supposed to do...and he thinks he knows everything about me."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Yeah," Lana shakes her head. "I don't understand why more people don't get that."

She drops her bag in a corner and kicks off her shoes, before finding a comfy spot to sit. "So, tell me about this Crowley. I've never met him. What's he like?"

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe blushed slightly. "He's a demon...uhm, one of the original Fallen Angels...he's an evil flash bastard, and doesn't try to hide who he is. He's Aziraphale's oldest friend."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Oh... Wow..." Lana's not quite sure what to say. "He's a demon, but he and Aziraphale are friends? That's..."

She bites her lip and looks at Phoebe seriously. "Do you love him? Enough to marry him?"

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe sighed. "He doesn't want me to love him."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Which is totally not what I asked," Lana says. "He may be a demon or whatever, but *you* aren't. And if you're going to spend the rest of your life with him..."

[sensethevisions]

"I care a great deal for him, Lana, But love? Love hurts you way too much. Besides, if I love him...that gives him power over me to shatter me like Cole did."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana sighs again. "Love can be pretty scary. Everyone I've ever loved has died or left, until I just wonder myself if its all worth it. Even with Shep who's so wonderful... I mean, I *ove* him, but I'm afraid to let myself fall *in* love with him 'cause if I did and he left me I don't know what I'd do."

[sensethevisions]

"I think that you and Shep will make it out just fine, Lana. He really loves you."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I hope..." Lana hesitates. "I don't know what I hope. Well, yeah, that he really does care about me. But every time I let myself think that way, I'm so terrified something will happen to him. I was actually doing better, but then Michael and Ben left and Shep got hurt by the snow monsters..."

She looks up at Phoebe ruefully, "You must think I'm such a wimp."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe shook her head and slid her arm around Lana.

"Not at all. I understand. My mom died when I was very young, and my dad walked out. Then Cole..." She looked at Lana. "I think you're much braver than I, Lana. You know what I did when Cole hurt me so badly? I drank an entire bottle of tequila and tried to jump from the balcony."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Phoebe, no! Oh God!" She wraps her arms around her. "Promise me you won't ever do that again! You have so many people who care about you. Call one of them, call me, God, call Shep and he'll come help."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe hugged her. "Crowley stopped me, but I will. Though, you might want to warn Shep you told him I could call if it got that bad." She sighed. "Lana...I felt so brken after what happened with Cole. I was so empty."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I will, but you know, he's a good guy. He'd help you even if I didn't ask him to, just because that's who he is."

She holds Phoebe's hands, "I'm so sorry you were that hurt by Cole. I understand a little of how you must have felt, but I can't imagine the depths of it."

[sensethevisions]

"Thank you, Lana. You don't know how much that means to me. With the exception of you, Aziraphale and Crowley, everyone else keeps telling me how stupid it was for me to get that upset over someone."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana is quiet for a minute. "I don't know that we can always control how upset we get over things like that. Sometimes it just... *happens*. But I think it's important to try and get some safeguards in place so if you're feeling that bad, you can find someone who can help."

She shakes her head, "People who've never experienced the kind of loss we have just don't get it. And they don't understand how much it can affect how you see and react to every other relationship you have."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe nodded. "If it happens again, I promise I'll call yu or Shep...okay?"

She smiled faintly. Finally, someone who did understand how much it had hurt and how it was making her view everything now.

"And it's not always easy or possible to explain all of that to people."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Okay, good," Lana replied. "Don't be surprised if you call one of us and get both of us, though."

"And I know what you mean," Lana said with a sigh. "People don't understand why you can't just 'get over it'. My parents died 13 years ago; my ex-boyfriend was killed, but he was *just* my ex... I guess until you've experienced it it just doesn't really mean anything to you."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe nodded. "One of my best friends was telling me that I should be ver this a week after it happened. I guess I'm just not as tough as everyone seems to want me to be. There is no *just* anything when you experience something that devastates you."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana shook her head. "Don't let anybody tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. How you feel is how you feel. What you *do* about it on the other hand..."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe nodded with embarrassment. "I promise, I'll call. I'm doing better, the hurt and the anger is starting to fade a litle bit."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I don't mean to harp on you about it," Lana said, "You promised and I believe you. I just don't want you feeling like someone else should be able to tell you how you should feel."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe nodded. "I know, and it helps that I have friends who do understand a little bit that sometimes, you just can't bounce back from things that hurt or break you."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Or who assume that if you're having a good day that that means you won't ever have another bad one."

[sensethevisions]

"Exactly. Just because you have a good day, it doesn't mean that something the next day won't upset you and make you remember."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I'm lucky," Lana said quietly. "Shep gets it and he's able to just kind of be there for me if I need him."

She looks a little teary. "Oh this is crazy," she says, "I can't believe I miss him this much. He's only going to be gone for three days."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe laid her head against Lana's. "And Crowley is only going to be gone for one night...There's nothing wrong with missing someone you care about."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"We're a fine pair," Lana said. "We're going to end up here in a puddle of tears if we're not careful. Luckily though, I brought chocolate."

She leans over and grabs a paper bag out of her overnight bag. "Brownies. With chocolate frosting. Very decadent."

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe grinned. "Decadence is very good." She nodded, "And Lana, the same offer stands for you. If yu ever need me...even if it's just to get away for a few hours, you let me know."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Thanks." Lana's eyes are bright again. "I may just take you up on that - especially times when Shep has to be away."

[sensethevisions]

"Good."

Phoebe nodded.

"Come on, I'll show you to your bed for the night. You get some rest and we do more tomorrow

She took Lana's hand and led her to the bedroom. "Make yourself at home and rest. I'm right next out here or next door."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Thanks." Lana looked exhausted all of a sudden. "I think everything's just catching up to me."

She hugged Phoebe. "Night. Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning."